Wedding
Gift-Giving Guidelines
Whether you're planning a wedding, or attending
one, gift-giving plays an important role in the
"big day."
Here
are some guidelines to help answer some questions
on this part of the wedding process.
- Tips
for the Wedding Guest
- Tips
for the Wedding Couple
FOR
THE WEDDING GUEST
So
you've been invited to a wedding? Are you wondering
what to do about the somewhat obligatory gift?
Most brides and grooms have registered their gift
wish list with a local department or specialty
store. Does this mean you must select from this
list? Not necessarily. While it is nice to help
the couple complete their flatware selection or
informal place settings, remember that a unique
gift can be just as welcomed. With the convenience
of shopping online, you can now purchase, gift
wrap, enclose a personalized gift card and ship
a gift to the couple without leaving your home
or office.
Some
things to keep in mind:
- Do
not take a gift to the reception. You cannot
be guaranteed that the bride and groom will
ever see the gift, as there is generally no
security at the reception (with the possible
exception being if the reception is at the
home of the couple or a family member). Gifts
can easily be damaged or misplaced. Remember,
the last thing on the couple's mind that night
will be gathering up gifts. It could easily
be left behind. Send the gift to the address
on the registry or the RSVP address on the
wedding invitation.
- Etiquette
says that it is a nice gesture to send a gift
whether or not you plan on attending.
FOR
THE COUPLE:
Planning
a wedding can be a very time-consuming process.
If you're like most couples today, you both work
full-time, leaving little time during the week
to complete the many details. Fortunately, with
the explosion of the Web, many excellent resources
are now available online to help you to plan your
big day. You can gather ideas for your ceremony
and reception, locate local vendors, read tips
from those who have been there, register your
gift wish list, and purchase gifts for your wedding
party. Giving a token of appreciation to bridesmaids,
ushers, groomsmen, and others who have taken a
role in the wedding planning process has long
been a custom. After all, these individuals are
generally close friends or family members who
have given of their time to help make your day
special. And taking part in a wedding generally
comes with financial responsibilities with the
purchase or rental of wedding attire, throwing
bridal showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties,
and travel expenses. Giving gifts to members of
the wedding party is left to the discretion of
each couple. There are no set standards on the
cost of the gift, nor do all gifts have to be
the same. Below are some guidelines to help you
decide what is most appropriate for your situation.
WHO
SHOULD RECEIVE A GIFT?
The
Bride and Groom - One of the oldest wedding-gift
traditions is the exchange of gifts between the
bride and the groom. While this custom is followed
by many couples, it is not mandatory. But why
not give each other something that reflects your
commitment? It's best to find something that is
lasting, and if appropriate, engrave it with each
of your initials and your wedding date. Ideas:
A picture frame, a poem, an elegant desk clock,
a collectible, jewellery.
Parents
- One of the more recent customs is to give a
gift to your parents as a token of appreciation
for all they have done in raising you - and to
symbolize your continued ties even though you
are now starting your own family. Ideas: A nicely
framed photo from the wedding, a letter expressing
your gratitude, an en-gravable bowl.
Maid
of Honour/Bridesmaids - These are the women who
will be helping you with the wedding planning
and the actual day. They'll throw showers/parties
for you, take you out to lunch to relax, pick
up your dress from the seamstress, etc. They'll
also most likely be the ones to buy those dresses
and dyed shoes that they'll wear only once. So
it is nice to thank them with a small memento.
The Maid of Honour generally receives a gift of
greater value, but this is not mandatory. Ideas:
Bud vases, photo frames or albums, bath oils,
crystal bowls, gift baskets, Limoges boxes or
other collectibles, key chains, clocks, some part
of their wedding attire (hair clips, jewellery).
Best
Man/Groomsmen/Ushers - These are the guys who
will throw the bachelor party, help you with your
tuxedo, help with honeymoon arrangements, walk
family and friends to their seats during the ceremony,
etc. They may travel a long distance to make the
wedding, and will most likely rent their tuxedo
to match the rest of the wedding party. It is
therefore a nice gesture to thank them with a
small gift. The Best Man generally receives a
gift of greater value, but this is not mandatory.
Ideas: Desk clocks, business card holders, photo
frames, key chains, pocket watches, Swiss Army
products, high quality pens/pen sets.
Flowergirl(s)/Ring
Bearer(s) - These children add a sweet touch to
your wedding ceremony and they are thrilled to
be a part of such a grand event. While they generally
do not play a large part in the planning aspects
of the wedding, they do often spend a lot of time
practicing for their "big and important role"
in your wedding. It is generally customary to
give them a small token of appreciation to commemorate
their role in your wedding day. Ideas: A framed
photo of him/her with you on your wedding day,
a small collectible (figurine, box, bowl, etc.),
a small item of jewellery, a stuffed animal, a
hair clip.
Anyone
who plays a special part in your wedding - Do
you have a special uncle who walked you down the
aisle, or a friend who sang a solo during your
ceremony? Anyone who does something that you find
especially touching should receive a token of
appreciation. Ideas: A note expressing your appreciation
or a framed photo from the wedding
SIZE
OF THE WEDDING PARTY
If
you will be having a large wedding party, it is
oftentimes a better idea to choose two gifts -
one for the males and one for the females - and
buy them in bulk. This helps keep costs down (large
weddings can be expensive!) and helps save time.
Clocks, pens, key rings and photo frames all make
elegant statements and can be easily personalized
with engraving.
For
smaller wedding parties, you may opt to select
more personalized gifts for each member of the
wedding. Tickets to a local sporting event are
great for the sports fan, while a bottle of a
good vintage wine would be more appropriate for
the wine connoisseur. Generally these people will
have played very active roles in your wedding
planning, since they number fewer than in a larger
wedding party. Why not recognize their roles with
individualized gifts?
COST
OF GIFTS
Couples
on a budget need not worry about breaking the
bank when purchasing gifts for their wedding party.
The cost of the gifts is dictated by what the
couple can afford. The adage "It's the thought
that counts" holds true here. A little creativity
and thoughtfulness can go a long way. Write a
poem that expresses how you feel about the individual.
Do they like outdoor events? Offer to take them
camping - drive and bring the food. Other ideas
include creative gift baskets, small vases, clocks,
and spa items (bath oils, soaps, etc.). Whatever
you chose to do, all gifts for bridesmaids should
be of equal value, all gifts for groomsmen should
be of equal value, etc., whenever possible.
PRESENTATION OF THE GIFTS
Presentation
of a gift is almost as important as the gift itself.
First, be sure to enclose a short, personalized
note thanking the individual for the important
role he or she played in your wedding and mention
any details that you especially appreciated. Second,
be sure to elegantly wrap the gift. Nice paper,
bows, and tissue paper help to make a nice gift
even more charming. Some couples opt to incorporate
the wedding colours into the gift wrap, tissues
and bows.
When
should you give your wedding party their gifts?
Generally, couples prefer to present the gifts
at the rehearsal dinner because of the intimate
setting with your family and closest friends.
Other appropriate times include a small gathering
or party for your wedding party the week before
the wedding, or in a private setting where you
can express your gratitude to each participant
individually.
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