One
night stands, and Implications
"I have two big problems
with the women with whom
I have one-night stands
with. On one hand, I would
like to pursue a relationship
with half the women I sleep
with; on the other hand,
I wouldn't want to see the
other half again even if
my life depended on it.
Of course, it is always
the women that I am extremely
attracted to that are never
interested in a relationship
after the one-night stand.
My
question to you is: Does
sex on the first date ruin
the chances for a relationship
to develop? How do I make
the getaway from the women
that I don't want to see
the morning after?
-- One-nighter, New York
One-night
stands (ONS) can be fun,
very sensual, harmless and
will definitely boost your
ego. But whenever you get
involved in one-night stands,
you have to consider three
important implications:
sexually transmitted diseases,
the relationship factor,
and the escape plan.
sexually transmitted diseases
This is the part that no
one likes to talk about.
But if you enjoy sex and
you want to remain alive
to enjoy it, you have to
practice it safely.
Most
people think that an STD
is the last thing that could
happen to them. This all
depends on the kind of lifestyle
one lives. For example,
a person that is in a long-term
and stable relationship
has a lower probability
of catching an STD. People
(like most Players)
who have multiple partners
are at a HIGH risk of contracting
various forms of STDs. Think
of it for a minute, if a
person easily sleeps with
a stranger without protection,
then how many other strangers
did they also sleep with?
As
a sexually active individual,
the number one concern for
himself is his health. If
the person that he is trying
to bed does not want to
use protection, then alarm
bells should be ringing
in his head. Yet, many stubborn
people refuse to protect
themselves just to enjoy
those hours of extra sexual
delight.
One
of the probable reasons
is because many people fail
to realize that a sexual
act that can lead to life
(conception), can also lead
to death (AIDS). Hence there
is a psychological factor
(cognitive dissonance) that
plays a role in screwing
people over. They believe
that the same act cannot
lead to both life and death.
Therefore, they convince
themselves that it must
lead to life, hence it is
okay not to use protection.
Make sure not to fall into
this trap and always use
protection- especially if
you're a Player.
the
relationship factor
Some men fall into the trap
of starting out with a ONS,
but ending up hooked by
the women they sleep with.
Can sex on the first date
ruin the chances for a relationship
to develop? In general,
it is virtually impossible
to maintain a serious relationship
from a one-night stand.
The odds are not very good.
This is basically because
one-night stands become
incredibly intimate at a
very early stage, before
one really knows
the other person very well.
These people become too
vulnerable to each other
before there is any kind
of trust built between them.
What
does this mean? Some people
give in to their desires
without thinking through
the consequences. If men
want a relationship from
the encounter, then the
next time, they might want
to wait a few days or weeks
before sleeping together.
Otherwise, she'll think
that he's too easy.
In
the end, remember that women
have one-night stands for
the same reasons men do:
because they are sexually
driven, they are lonely,
or they just want to sample
as many dishes as possible
before deciding which one
to commit to. Men should
not push relationships onto
women; they should be glad
that the women agree to
having a ONS. In the end,
the whole thing should result
in a good night of sex and
nothing else.
