Shared Living Offers Mature Women Options and Opportunities

Who would have thought that the retirement antics of TV’s “Golden Girls” would predict an upcoming demographic trend? It seems Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and her feisty mom Sophia had the right idea. As baby boomers head into retirement in record numbers, older women are choosing roommates to address the challenges of living comfortably and economically secure in their later years.
Though many boomers born between 1946 and 1964 are still a few years away from retirement, older women, either widowed, divorced or never married, are beginning to look at the advantages of finding compatible roommates to not only share living expenses and household responsibilities, but to help them meet the physical and emotional challenges that come with aging.

Since women often outlive their husbands by years, the emergence of this trend, in many ways, is a demographic “no brainer,” according to Dr. F. Jeri Carter, department head of professional psychology at Argosy University/Seattle. However, she cautions, just because women choosing to share a home may be older, it doesn’t necessarily make the roommate process any easier to handle.

“While some people ‘mellow’ as they age, becoming more accepting of others and able to compromise, others may become more rigid, more insistent on their way being the ‘only’ way, “ says Carter. Often the ways in which people manage and resolve conflict in late life is generally determined by how they’ve done so in the past, explains Carter, and by their style of communication, problem-solving skills, flexibility and willingness to accept compromise -- and perhaps most importantly -- their ability to remain engaged and open with the other while working through conflict.

Cindy Stedman, an instructor in the Interior Design department of The Art Institute of Phoenix, lives with her 80 year old widowed mother, and says “the decision for women to team up is very do-able if they take the time to discuss important issues, and resolve potential areas of conflict before they decide to live in the same household.”

From a design standpoint, “universal design” considerations are particularly important to making a house accessible for all. Joanne Kravets, the department chair of Interior Design with The Art Institute of California -- Los Angeles, says some of those design considerations include “lowering the height of kitchen and bathroom countertops to accommodate wheel chairs, removing the curb at the shower stall so a wheel chair can roll directly into the shower, providing lights that indicate a telephone is ringing to aid the hearing impaired, creating ramps instead of stairs as well as installing low pile carpeting to reduce tripping.” According to Kravets, “these and other changes are easy, inexpensive and greatly improve living conditions for individuals with any physical limitations.”

William Kobrynich, program chair for Interior Design of the The Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale says paint color that helps eliminate glare, properly positioned lighting, and furniture design are extremely important to making a communal living arrangement a success. However, says Kobrynich, “it’s also the knick knacks and memorabilia that are important to people, especially older adults,” that must be thrown into the mix of considerations.

Kobrynich recommends arranging family photos or mementos mostly in an individual’s private room, and selecting just a few pieces reflecting the person’s personality, family, hobbies or interests for display in the common rooms. That way, “no one feels like the home is too much one person’s and not another’s,” he says.

There is plenty of information on universal design available on the Internet. Some useful sites include www.aarp.org/life/homedesign/, http://americans-with-disabilities-act.com/, and www.design.ncsu.edu/cud/. Check with local senior service organizations or state Department of Aging offices for additional information. In addition, consider seeking the advice of a professional designer. A brief visit to a home, followed by a few design recommendations, may be all that’s needed to help make a comfortable, safe and accessible home for all who live there.